Chainsaw bedroom

I bet you´ve never heard that term before, and that is because I made it up. But the idea is not mine. The term was originally “Hatchet bedroom” and it was coined by Dallas architect Bob Borson, but since he can trademark (™) the term and I do not live in the area that may suffer from Comanche attack, I renamed it. So from now on, call them “Chainsaw bedrooms” in my honour.

And what does it mean you may ask? Let the dictionary do the talking.

“Chainsaw bedroom” as defined by my sketchbook in the second drawer from top

1. is a bedroom, where the head of the bed is placed on the same wall as the entrance door
2. is a bedroom where the doors are placed in a close proximity to the head of the bed (e.g. from the side).

So in other, less refined words, it is that kind of bedroom which has that tiny theoretical possibility of lumberjack from horror movies sneaking up to your face when you sleep. Let me explain that by a humble picture.

Above you can see the layout, where the lumberjack appears directly by your bed and you have approximately 340 milliseconds to react before some of your limbs won´t be any longer attached to your body. But that is all the matter of choice and if you want to choose to keep all your pieces together, keep on reading.

And here, you can see more favourable option. Now you have enough time to grab your nightstand or handgun you keep under your pillow for cases like this and stay alive.

And even if you live in the area without lumberjacks or Comanches, you must admit that being able to have a clean sight at the entrance is very comforting. How does your bedroom look like? I bet nearly none of you actually have a chainsaw bedroom. It is natural for human to arrange our furniture in a way, where we feel secure. Even though, there is the place where you can find them. Spec homes and catalogue homes. Ugh, don´t let me started on how much I despise catalogue homes. Well. I will tell you, but not today. So back to the story. I

Even though, there is the place where you can find them. Spec homes and catalogue homes. Ugh, don´t let me started on how much I despise catalogue homes. Well. I will tell you, but not today. So back to the story. I got hold onto three catalogues, two from danish companies, and one from the czech company. And I found examples in both of them. Bummer. That means that either there was no architect involved, or worse, bad one. An architect would think about how to arrange our bedrooms in a comfortable way and he definitely do not want to see his clients wounded (be it chainsaw or fear of it appearing beside you head).

And these are not just ordinary budget houses, some of these are more than 180 square meters, so lack of space clearly was not the reason behind this crime. And even if there were not enough space, one can always do better and not hide behind excuses. So next time you will find yourself in the need of house or flat, think little more about what value you will get for your money. You won´t buy many homes in your life, so when you do, make it worth.

Cheers

Ondrej